I Have Selective Hearing I'm Sorry You Were Not Selected Mug | Funny Cow Gift

Regrettably, your request was not processed. I have selective hearing — I'M SORRY you were not selected — "I have selective hearing" in flowing handwritten script at the top, then the star of the show: a hyper-detailed cartoon cow in enormous round glasses, wide googly eyes, chewing a leaf, looking simultaneously bewildered and entirely unbothered. Below: "I'M SORRY" in large bold caps, "you were not selected" in flowing script. The cow's expression is the whole joke.

The companion piece to the Genius cow mug — same character, different energy. For the person who hears exactly what they want to hear and has made peace with that. A brilliant birthday gift, Christmas gift or just-because gift for anyone who's been told they have selective hearing and considers it a feature rather than a bug. Hand-pressed in our Sussex studio and finished with our 1-Year Print Guarantee — if the print fades or peels under normal use, we'll replace it. Packed in double-walled smash-proof packaging and dispatched ready to gift.

• Same beloved cow character as the Genius mug — chewing a leaf, entirely unbothered
• Bold caps with flowing script — the cow does the rest
• A brilliant funny gift for anyone with famously selective hearing
• Available in 9 coloured handle options plus white, bone china and latte sizes
• Also available in 15oz, 20oz pint and bone china formats
• Hand-pressed in our Sussex studio — not mass produced
• 1-Year Print Guarantee — we'll replace it if the print fades or peels
• Double-walled smash-proof packaging, dispatched ready to gift
• Dishwasher safe for 800+ cycles at 45°C

Shipping & Processing

Each item is made to order and carefully hand-pressed in our Sussex studio.

Most orders are produced within 24–48 hours, depending on order volume.

Standard delivery: Orders are dispatched using a Royal Mail Tracked 48 service.

Express delivery: Where Express shipping is selected at checkout, orders are dispatched using a Royal Mail Tracked 24 service.

Delivery times refer to courier transit only and do not include production time.

If you need your order sooner, Priority Processing is available to add to your basket to move your order to the front of the production queue.

Please note

Colours may vary slightly from screen to screen due to display settings. Every mug is produced to our exacting standards to ensure consistent print quality and finish.

If you’ve selected gift wrapping for one item within a multiple-item order, please let us know in the order notes at checkout which item you’d like gift wrapped.