There's a 99% Chance I Don't Care Cow Mug | Funny Sarcastic Gift

The statistics are in. A magnificently unbothered cartoon cow peers out from the mug — black and white, heavy-lidded, wearing the expression of someone who has heard everything and cared about none of it, framed by a cluster of cheerful white daisies that make the whole thing somehow even funnier. Script above reads “there’s a 99% chance” with bold block lettering below: “I DON’T CARE” The remaining 1% is not accounted for.

For the person who has achieved a state of complete and total unbotheredness, the one who has heard it all before and the people in their life who have learned to check the odds before speaking. A brilliant birthday gift, Christmas gift or just-because gift for the magnificently indifferent, the gloriously unbothered and anyone who has ever responded to a long story with a slow blink. Hand-pressed in our Sussex studio and finished with our 1-Year Print Guarantee — if the print fades or peels under normal use, we’ll replace it. Packed in double-walled smash-proof packaging and dispatched ready to gift.

• A brilliant sarcastic gift for the magnificently unbothered and the statistically indifferent
• Available in 9 coloured handle options plus white, bone china and latte sizes
• Also available in 15oz, 20oz pint and bone china formats
• Hand-pressed in our Sussex studio — not mass produced
• 1-Year Print Guarantee — we’ll replace it if the print fades or peels
• Double-walled smash-proof packaging, dispatched ready to gift
• Dishwasher safe for 800+ cycles at 45°C

Shipping & Processing

Each item is made to order and carefully hand-pressed in our Sussex studio.

Most orders are produced within 24–48 hours, depending on order volume.

Standard delivery: Orders are dispatched using a Royal Mail Tracked 48 service.

Express delivery: Where Express shipping is selected at checkout, orders are dispatched using a Royal Mail Tracked 24 service.

Delivery times refer to courier transit only and do not include production time.

If you need your order sooner, Priority Processing is available to add to your basket to move your order to the front of the production queue.

Please note

Colours may vary slightly from screen to screen due to display settings. Every mug is produced to our exacting standards to ensure consistent print quality and finish.

If you’ve selected gift wrapping for one item within a multiple-item order, please let us know in the order notes at checkout which item you’d like gift wrapped.