Kill Them With Kindness... Just Try Poison Retro Mug | Funny Dark Humour Gift

Smile. Nod. Consider your options. A full-wrap retro illustration covers the mug in vivid colour — a perfectly coiffed 1950s housewife beams from a gleaming red kitchen, oven gloves on, roast in hand, the picture of domestic bliss. A speech bubble delivers the punchline with impeccable timing: “If You Can’t Kill Them With kindness Just Try Poison.” The smile never wavers.

For the woman who keeps it together with grace, charm and a very dark sense of humour. A brilliant birthday gift, Christmas gift or just-because gift for sarcastic friends, long-suffering colleagues and anyone who has ever smiled through gritted teeth and thought something entirely different. Hand-pressed in our Sussex studio and finished with our 1-Year Print Guarantee — if the print fades or peels under normal use, we’ll replace it. Packed in double-walled smash-proof packaging and dispatched ready to gift.

• A brilliant funny gift for dark humour lovers, sarcastic women and the magnificently patient
• Available in 9 coloured handle options plus white, bone china and latte sizes
• Also available in 15oz, 20oz pint and bone china formats
• Hand-pressed in our Sussex studio — not mass produced
• 1-Year Print Guarantee — we’ll replace it if the print fades or peels
• Double-walled smash-proof packaging, dispatched ready to gift
• Dishwasher safe for 800+ cycles at 45°C

Shipping & Processing

Each item is made to order and carefully hand-pressed in our Sussex studio.

Most orders are produced within 24–48 hours, depending on order volume.

Standard delivery: Orders are dispatched using a Royal Mail Tracked 48 service.

Express delivery: Where Express shipping is selected at checkout, orders are dispatched using a Royal Mail Tracked 24 service.

Delivery times refer to courier transit only and do not include production time.

If you need your order sooner, Priority Processing is available to add to your basket to move your order to the front of the production queue.

Please note

Colours may vary slightly from screen to screen due to display settings. Every mug is produced to our exacting standards to ensure consistent print quality and finish.

If you’ve selected gift wrapping for one item within a multiple-item order, please let us know in the order notes at checkout which item you’d like gift wrapped.